Week 14: MKE and Me Holiday Edition...
The week of Xmas was filled with challenges to my mental diet... yet I think I did pretty good. The impact of approaching everyone with love has been invaluable... from the random stranger interactions in crowded store lines, to loan request from friends or the favors for family members who I hadn’t heard from since last holiday season. I found myself in a much better space.
With th the exercises I had time to focus on positive things and found peace in retrospective sense as I was able to look at some things from a different angle.
For years I quietly held a grudge against the idea of Christmas with myself. Since the early 1990’s Christmas has been the sterling reminder that I was a bad parent. My daughters live with their mothers and no matter how many gifts I had given the fact was on Xmas I was a visitor. Not a part of their households, children deserve to have their dreams and most children’s Christmas dream includes both parents. My grudge was compounded In recent years due to my father having a stroke Xmas night so it became the day I last heard his voice. He hung on until Valentine’s Day when he died but we’ll save that for another day.
Taking inventory and focusing on the highs, accomplishments, gratitudes in totality. I released many of the things I was holding inside and shifted to the things I had shared in recent years with my kids and my lady’s kids. Being able to help brighten their holiday or ensure they surprise their mom. Creating new memories as well taking time to be present.Greeting each day with love, and loving myself.